Doubt

It manifests as a gnawing little voice in my head saying, “Not today.”

Doubt grabs me by the throat and pins me down like an abusive lover. It keeps me up at night, kills my dreams and invades my space.

Doubt distracts me with many shiny things.

Doubt makes the monsters and demons inside my head come to life. Doubt is nothing compared to bumps in the night and scary shadows in the corner.

Doubt is me constantly hitting the snooze button on life. Doubt whispers “You can’t do this” in my ear. Doubt is the second guessing and believing the peanut gallery in my head and their unsolicited opinions.

I hate doubt, but it’s the longest relationship I’ve ever been in- doubt is a loyal companion.

Doubt rehashes a painful past and makes the future seem impossible. Doubt dumps out all the puzzle pieces on the floor and scatters them into a mess.

Doubt is a looming creature and makes itself seem larger than life.

Doubt is the thick fog I must wade through every morning for me to get to my intended path. Doubt creates shortcuts that lead to dead ends.

Doubt is a no good son-of-a-bitch, but I keep going back to it.

Doubt tricks its prey into believing it’s an idol- something to be praised.

Doubt attached itself to me like an aura and now, it’s time to shed this skin.

I was programmed to doubt myself. I learned to be the understudy and not the leading lady.

But if there’s one thing that doubt has taught me, it’s that every moment spent insisting that I can’t, is a moment stolen away.

I’m tired of giving my life away for free.

I realized that doubt was not my friend and I stopped believing the lies it told.

It loosened its chokehold.

Sometimes it gets the best of me, but most of the time things are as they seem and I don’t see my world with doubt colored glasses.